Exorcists Wanted!

That's right, the Catholic Church needs more exorcists. It's holding a two-day training conference. Apparently there just aren't enough exorcists available in the U.S. to counter the demonic onslaught sweeping across the country.

Bishop Thomas Paprocki of Springfield, Ill., who organized the conference, said only a tiny number of U.S. priests have enough training and knowledge to perform an exorcism. Dioceses nationwide have been relying solely on these clergy, who have been overwhelmed with requests to evaluate claims.

But the church doesn't advertise these type of events, preferring to keep a low profile with regard to exorcisms. Why?

1999, the church updated the Rite of Exorcism, cautioning that “all must be done to avoid the perception that exorcism is magic or superstition.”

Who would think that an arcane ritual designed to cast-out invisible evil beings was based on superstition? Imagine that. Naturally the church decides what are and are not cases of demonic possession. They're the experts on possession by invisible evil beings.

Signs of demonic possession accepted by the church include violent reaction to holy water or anything holy, speaking in a language the possessed person doesn’t know and abnormal displays of strength.

It's interesting that these invisible evil beings react badly to things that are "holy." What exactly makes holy water holy? Whatever it is, apparently demons can detect it.

The full exorcism is held in private and includes sprinkling holy water, reciting Psalms, reading aloud from the Gospel, laying on of hands and reciting the Lord’s Prayer. Some adaptations are allowed for different circumstances. The exorcist can invoke the Holy Spirit then blow in the face of the possessed person, trace the sign of the cross on the person’s forehead and command the devil to leave.

Again, why on earth would the church worry that people might think such practices are based on superstition? It's just baffling.