Monday, February 15, 2010

Obama's Special Recipe

Are you ready to bake? I hope so, because the Unreligious Right has obtained an exclusive copy of Obama's Special Recipe. Don't worry, it requires no knowledge or experience whatsoever to make. Let's get started. The ingredient list is at the end.

We'll start with a big can of Bush-Cheney Special Blend. That's going to be the basis of our recipe. But first skim some of the unpleasant residue off the top, and make sure you sift out most of the particles of national self-interest. They conflict with many of our ingredients. While you are at it, remove some of the CIA chunks. But make sure you don't accidentally take out any of the incompetence or arrogance. Those are key parts of the blend, and critical flavors for this recipe. 

Now you want to mix in the appeasement. Be generous, you can't have too much. Make sure you use the apology flavored brand. Stir everything together.

It's time to make our special syrup. It combines three key ingredients that really reflect the signature of this dish. Whisk together the empty talk, naivete, and wishful thinking. When they are well-blended, add the syrup to the mix. Stir. 

Season the mix with a liberal dose of foolish internationalism. That will also counteract any of the national self-interest you might not have gotten out of the Bush-Cheney Special Blend. Throw in a couple of tablespoons of incompetence. I know there's quite a bit in the Bush-Cheney stuff, but we need more. Stir vigorously until everything is well-mixed.

Good news, you are now done with the filling. Set it aside while we work on the topping. It's important to note that this topping will only sit on a small part of the overall dish, because its flavors offer a strong contrast. Mix together the national self-interest, war, reinforcements, and offensives. Bind the whole thing together by adding in the assassination. Form the topping and set it aside.

Grease up your baking dish with a double-thick coating of blind legalism. Use the whole can if necessary. Pour in the filling. Place the topping on the right side of the dish. Bake for 4-8 years.

List of Ingredients

For the filling

Large can of Bush-Cheney Special Blend
1 bag of appeasement -- apology flavored.
1 cup empty talk
1 cup naivete
1 cup wishful thinking
about a half cup of foolish internationalism
2 1/2 heaping tablespoons of incompetence

The topping

1 teaspoon national self-interest
3 tablespoons war
2 teaspoons reinforcements
1 teaspoon offensives
1/4 cup of assassination. (Drone brand works best in this recipe).


1 can of blind legalism.

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